Baked Betty

Company picnic coming in 2 weeks and she signed up to bring decorations and her traditional Baked Apple Betty. Last year she was too sick to go. Her co-workers still made her feel guilty about missing it. Not because they missed her, they just wanted the Baked Apple Betty. How easily traditions become repressive. She…

Filling

What is this called? When motherhood makes its presence known. Text. FaceTime. Phone call. Then and only then I realize that I am feeling this. And I wonder, what is this called? Dear God give me a word to name it! A definition, much like a diagnosis, might help me understand my condition and more…

Simmer Down

He said, Simmer down! Simmer. Down. Simmer under the lid. You can be very, very hot. But you must never, ever boil over. Keep it under, never over. Keep it in, never out. Simmer down never up. Down into involuntary silence, invisible rage. And whatever you do? Never bubble up with laughter so loud that…

Wincing

51.5 times around the sun, and I still wince. Still afraid of getting in trouble for unknown crimes. I answered a question. I asked another question. Without permission, however, a question is a dangerous thing. I remember once when I was about 3, I got very curious about the writing on the bottom of a cup….

If You Haven’t Had a PMAD

In August of 2015, I received the news that a friend of mine had taken her life. She was a remarkable young woman who had fought the toughest battle I think anyone on this planet might face. She was kind. She was funny. For all intents and purposes, she was ‘recovered’ and had ‘survived’. An…